The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
