can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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