she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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