I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
