on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
