my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
