did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
