I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.