have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I cannot find my penis.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
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Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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