It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Randomize
