I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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