Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
