I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
