Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
