P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
