I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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