This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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