It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
