You're my little dorito
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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