The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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