I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
