she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
