I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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