My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
