it wasn't lemon gatorade
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
