If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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