i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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