I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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