I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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