i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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