I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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