Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize