You work out of a Hotel?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
