if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
