Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
