and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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