So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
