Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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