I just saw a hot homeless man
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
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