somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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