is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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