capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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