he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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