he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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