i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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