It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
