New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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