Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize