And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
