Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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