You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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