I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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