Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
