C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
