quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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