Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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