Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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