Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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