Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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