Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize